Good LORD, finally. It’s only taken us about 2 years to get here, peoples.  And, like all things Chego, certain rules and stipulations apply.

But for now, let’s take a moment and just enjoy the news.   CHEGO.  ESS.  OPEN.  FOR.  ZEY LUNCHES.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh… sometimes I miss the early-to-mid-90′s pretty hard. When Miss Jackson was at the top of her game, flat tops were cool and men and women were wearing neon bicycle shorts like it was nobody’s business. Hot men were not “cute” back then, they were “FINE”.

Life was a lot simpler before the Nokia cellphone craze, the interwebs and reality shows based on self-indulgent subcultures. It was a time when both mousse and gel were mandatory for awesome hair, the only blockbuster celebrity fragrance was by Elizabeth Taylor and that anything beyond 95% fat-free was considered health food. Trans fat? What’s that? Gluten? Is that a vitamin-supplement? Favorite chefs? His name’s Boyardee.

This is not to say that the early to mid 90s didn’t have its own shadow side, but there seemed to be a lot less to worry about when nobody was taking antidepressants. But, hey, I was a kid back then, so what do I know?

………………..AND NOW BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING………………

CHEGO. LUNCH.
HOURS: 11:30AM-2:30PM, Tues-Sat
MENU: Ebberything’s that available for dinner, sans the Rock Yer Road, Weekly Specials, $12 Salad and Pina Krackalada. (Nobody fiends for krack anyway until the sun goes down, so, you know…) Link to the lunch menu can be found HERE.
SPECIAL RULES: Take-out only via ONLINE or IN-PERSON. No, we won’t be taking orders over the phone. Yes, we do take both cash and credit card as long as the plastic’s in Visa or Mastercard.

So there ya have it. Lunch hath been officially launched. ENJOY IT.

Love and ricebowls,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

…I think.

There are already reviews and mentions on BlindBarber here and there, but when I clicked on their website, there’s still a big ole countdown to the LA opening:

…sooooooooo I’m thinking we can welcome them with greater fanfare in a week.  Perhaps.  Or now, perhaps.  Regardless of when they’re officially opened, I do wish them a “Welcome, welcome!”

I’ve been meaning to post up a good neighbourly/neighborly post for… I guess almost a YEAR,  but there’s really no time like the present (it’s a GIFT!), especially when we’ve got a new kid on the block.  (Forgive me, neighbors, I was raised by wolves and really have no concept of manners or propriety.  I still think thank-you cards are a waste of trees.)

Yes, they hail from New York.  Yes, it’s called The BlindBarber.  And yes, they put the “BAR” in “BARber”.  So yeah, one might want to think twice about having one’s hair cut in a bar by a barber who may or may not create eyebrow-raising wonders with a pair of sharp scissors in the dark.  Especially if the barber really IS blind.  Or a teetotaler.  Pick yer poison. But won’t you have fun drinking it…!

Kind of reminds me of a masculine version Beauty Bar, which was uber popular back in the day, only less kitschy and more sophistimacated.  Plus, they’re from New York.

And as ambivalent as some Angelenos like myself feel about New York sometimes — especially when it comes to a debate about “culture” and whether or not LA has any (I’m serious!!  I challenge you to find a New Yorker in New York who has kind things to say about LA! It’s a POOPular New York pastime to sh*t on LA! PUN definitely INTENDED!) — these boys are perfectly nice and, from what I gather, very, very good looking.

The dude Jeff from BlindBarber who swung by Chego the other week was well-groomed and gorgeous enough to elicit a small sigh in my little heart.  As for the rest of the BlindBarber posse, according to Yelp they are certifiably beautiful.

And it certainly doesn’t hurt that, in true New York fashion, they take what they do very seriously.  As gimmicky as the concept MIGHT sound, there aren’t very many bars that appear to know how to walk that fine line of being both serious about the craft with a solid sense of fun and good humor/humour.  (And I’m not talking restaurant/bars, but bar-bars and those of a speakeasy ambiance.)

Besides.  We’re LA!  We have short attention spans!  And we love gimmicks!

Ladies, as you can see, this ain’t no beauty parlor/parlour, but I’ve been assured that they have something to offer us off-menu, a-la-animal-style.  Ahahaha, and if you’re not into animal-style haircuts, but you’re dating a man with a swanky sense of style or wanting to date a man with a swanky sense of style, this will probably be the place to frequent on a Thursday or Friday night.  Plus, who can hate on a bar that names their drinks “Batman” and “Smoke and Dagger”?  It’s got MEN written all over it.  30-ish, boyishly successful men of culture, but men, nonetheless.

Since the water in LA is markedly different from New York tap, I’m super curious to see how BlindBarber grows into its own shoes a year from now.

Anyway, totally give those boys a chance!  They’re beautiful!  And could teach you a thing or two about shaving — or, at the very least, a grilled cheese sandwich.

10797 Washington Blvd
Culver City, CA

Though one of the co-owners and I may have had our differences in the past (in a nutshell, he would just say or do things that just REALLY rubbed me the wrong way, and y’all know how I get when people rub me the wrong way), we’ve since made peace and he regularly makes friendly gifts of deliciously delicious ice cream in deliciously delicious flavors.

Plus, it doesn’t hurt that they’ve got a serious coffee program that would make for a supremely heavenly affogato.

Aside from the classic brown bread ice cream, I like when they foray into flavors like pandan and cardamom.  Lord, MAKE me a creamy yummy cardamom-laced ice cream and I will BE there in 2 seconds flat.  Give or take a little classic LA traffic.

I’ve seen a few reviews saying that Scoops Westside isn’t the same as the original Scoops which, therefore, makes it BAD — but let me say this to you: as long as a shop’s still mom-and-pop, the sister or cousin-ly locations are never going to be a 100% knock-off of the original.  I should know.

When your bags of meat or pre-packaged ingredients don’t come from a factory, the food you cook in the kitchen is going to come out a little differently at each separate location.  It’s called the human touch.  And even though we source the same ingredients from the same places, the tacos at Alibi Room taste just a LITTLE bit different from the way they do on the trucks.  They’re still f*cking delicious, but they’re not identical.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that while it’s okay to have a set of expectations, have those expectations be correct.  Isn’t it GOOD to know that the brown bread ice cream isn’t quite the same at the Westside location as at the original location?  Lord, that tells you that the same flavor isn’t made from the same batch in some warehouse in the meatpacking district of LA.

Psh.  Sometimes I like my coffee with a little more milk on some mornings than others.  And I love different versions of the same thing.  Think of the many amalgamations of imported green tea Pocky over the past decade.  They may not have all been identical, but a good handful of them were equally as good as the others.

Anyway, they are more literal neighbors, who live just a hop, skip and a jump away from Chego.  And whenever we run out of Rock Yer Road or Sriracha bars, I definitely nudge all the sweet toothes to mosey on over to Scoops Westside for dessert.

They may not be LITERAL neighbors, but I like and dig that their cooks come by Chego every so often.  And they always bring SUCH INTERESTING BEERS.  I forget the name of the cook that came by most regularly — Danny?  Daniel?  I forget.  But I liked him.  He was a sweetheart.

1303 Westwood Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA

SPEAKING OF INTERESTING BEERS — where do they sell THIS ONE?

Who CARES if it’s “real” beer or not?  It’s brewed with TOASTED COCONUT.  And has a really cute label to boot!

Authenticity be damned.  If it tastes good and brings you a good time, who really cares, I say.

Do they carry this variety at Trader Joe’s?  It seems like something that TJ’s would carry.  Or Whole Foods.  Seriously, I want to try it.  Just pour a rittle bit over a good vanilla or toffee brittle ice cream.  And I don’t even like beer!

Anyway, much love to the boys in our neighborhood.  And hopefully we can get some more ladies on the easterly side of the westside.  And if we have, pop in and say hello!  ::waves::

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

P.S. My favorite track of the moment now that it’s getting all sunny and happy outside! And YES, it’s supposed to be silent/mute the first 12 seconds. ENJOY!

I think the name of this hoodie is the WE DON'T CARE...BEARS. ahahahahahah! >_<

Let me preface this by saying that 95% of the people are reallllly amazing!!!!  It’s just the sh*tty 5% that hold up the line and are oh-so-helpful in making things difficult. Maybe I’ll do a series (though lord knows if I can maintain it, with my attention span) focusing on one specific issue per week.

THIS WEEK: “I KNOW SO-AND-SO…(so can I get free food?)” and the “WELL IF I ORDER IT WITHOUT THE ____ HOW MUCH LESS DOES IT COST ME?”

Believe it or not, we had a two-for-one special guy come in a few weeks back.

I sh*t you not, this dude comes moseying up to the counter and starts ordering a bunch of things and then closes with, “Hey, Tyler always gives me free food.  So can you…?”

Nuh uh.  You just did NOT use our sous chef’s name to get yourself a free meal, did you?

ME: Um, unless someone tells me to comp somebody’s meal directly, I don’t give out free food.
DUDE: Roy Choi’s also a really good friend of mine.  He might be a little upset if you didn’t, oh, just GIVE me something.  You’re new here, right?
ME: …kind of.
DUDE:  He usually looks out for me, Roy.  That’s all.  Tyler, too.
ME: ::smiles:: So do you want to pay for your food or not?
DUDE:  Um, totally cancel that order, then.  I just want the chubby pork belly bowl.
ME:     Sure!
DUDE:  But if I take off the cilantro and the cheese and the radishes, does that knock off a few dollars off the bowl?
ME:   –___–   No.
DUDE: What if I decide to forgo on half the sauce, too?  I mean, keep the radishes, but go light on the sauce.  What will that cost me? It’s gotta be cheaper, right?
ME:   >=/  One would think so, but no.
DUDE: What if I got 25% less pork in the bowl?  How much will that cost me?
ME:  >=(   Should I start taking someone else’s order?
DUDE: Nope.  I’ll just get the pork belly bowl.  I was just kidding.
ME: Ha.  Ha.  (asshole)
[he hears me]
DUDE:  I said I was just kidding.
ME:  That’ll be $9.63.

Why do people DO that?  WAI?  Or maybe my question is — why do they think it’s funny?  He was totally trying not to laugh the whole time — and the annoying part was that he wasn’t drunk and he wasn’t high, so there was no excusing his behavior.

And NO, he was definitely not Tyler’s friend.  Much less Roy’s.

NOTE TO CUSTOMERS: If you have to ask for free food, you’re probably not gonna get any.  My own friends insist on paying for food and I’ve never given them an entire meal for free-99.  And though this guy knew how to put the “ass” in “asinine”, he’s not the first patron who’s tried to negotiate a discount for taking off garnishes.  Peoples, this is not the Silverlake Flea Market or that monthly trip to the Pasadena Rose Bowl!  While I can make little adjustments here and there, overall you get what you get and you don’t get upset.  There are just too many people to tend to in the line for my brain to have the capacity to get a little creative with the math regarding how many cents to take off a $9 bowl for someone who doesn’t want cheese or cilantro.  I can totally see why there are some restaurants out there with a sign, in caps, “NO SUBSTITUTIONS.”

*********************************************************************************************************

One more request!  IF IT’S UNOPENED AND ON THE SHELF, PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH IT.  PLEASE DO NOT OPEN THE MAE PLOY.  THE MAE PLOY IS NOT FOR YOU.  IT IS A RAW INGREDIENT FOR ONE OF OUR SAUCES IN THE KITCHEN.

It makes me a little sad to see this on a table:

NOT for table service!

THIS IS A RAW INGREDIENT FOR THE KITCHEN!  PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH THE THINGS IN THE PANTRY THAT ARE UNOPENED!

Dude, the Mae Ploy’s next to the econo-sized tub of Sambal sauce and the sacks of rice.  Does it make sense to open up a sack of rice and sprinkle a few grains over your bowl?

That said, I understand that it may be confusing and/or tempting for the people who want extra condiments. It’s kind of out in the open. But so is the rice.  And the large jugs of vinegar.  And mirin.  And gallon-sized buckets of soy sauce.  But still, I’ll admit, it’s tempting when it’s out there sitting on the shelf unprotected. So shame on us for not putting up signs to deter guests from ransacking the sacks of rice and chili flakes!  Lesson LEARNED.

Mmmm… so for now, let’s just establish a rule of them from here on out: unless it’s sitting, cap-off on the to-go table, it’s not for your rice bowl!  ::shakes finger::

Here are a few examples of what are off-limits:

OFF LIMITS

OFF LIMITS

OFF LIMITS

But what is perfectly fine is if you see the Sriracha sauce ALREADY OPENED and out on the to-go table.

Sriracha on the table? ESS OTAY!!

When in doubt, please ask!

********************************************************************************************************

In other news, the Trans Fest LA is still going on at the Geffen in LT, on 1st and Central.  I’d definitely invite y’all to check out Episode 0 of Food is the New Rock w/ Zack Brooks and Mike D and our own Roy Chulo regarding the exhibit.  While I didn’t catch the show last Friday, I did check out the exhibit on Saturday and it just BLEW.  MY. MIND.  Especially one section in particular.

spinspinspinspinspinspinspinspin

SPOILERS!  There’s this one section where you go inside a tunnel of multicolored ribbons of light that twists out and leads into this open mouth of a room with moving video projections on every wall and floor where you feel like you’re sucked inside this video game.  And if you walk backward while focusing on the drunken, setting sun, you get this intense sense of vertigo.  And when you walk out it leads you to a field of spinning Candy-Land-colored, multi patterned windmills.  END SPOILERS.

If you’re like me who wants to flirt with the experience of acid without having to risk blasting one’s braincells, this very section of the exhibit is the one to see.

And, though not as immediately visually stimulating, I super duper recommend checking out the Sky Ladder portion.  Just walk inside, watch the videos, walk back out and be prepared to be surprisingly moved.

AND REMEMBER — it’s ABSOLUTELY FREE and only going on for 1 more week!  As for the shows, now they have a nifty system where you can RESERVE YOUR FREE TICKET so you are guaranteed a spot. And if you don’t really care for crowds or the awesome shows, no ticket necessary to see the exhibit.  You can just breeze on in while it’s still open.  Also, what’s cool is that with the exception of SKY LADDER, you can take as many pictures and shoot as much video as you want to.

********************************SEGUEWAYSEGUEWAYSEGUEWAY******************************************

RANDOMLY COOL THINGS I SAW FROM BEHIND THE CASH REGISTER AT CHEGO THE PAST 2 WEEKS

It's Porkchop! (i think.)

YETI TIME.

Mmmm. I want to press HIS buttons. <-- that was meant to be mildly flirtatious, but I think it came out as full-on creepies.

Atari-era SPACE INVADERZZZZZ... >_< now in super technicolor!

yay! Beth's sriracha bars now have loveably blue, deliciously pastel turquoise wrappers.

ALSO, ANNOUNCEMENT ON CHEGO LUNCH!!

ESS COMING.  –__–

Yeah, yeah, Alice.  “Ess” always coming, “ese”.

No, but REALLYS!  And it actually has a tentative launch date: May 15th.

No dine in, take-out only with a limited menu.  More details forthcoming!  Yaaaaaaaaaaar!

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

P.S. KEWLLLLL!!!!! >_< Click on video if you want to see a subwoofer affect water so that it appears to defy gravity.

P.P.S. Double kewl! Ever seen the 1,000 arm Kuan Yin dance? It’s mesmerizing. Sometimes I just want to tell kids they don’t need to take no drugs to trip heavy. Just find a really good video on youtube and it should hit the spot. Scout’s honor. (I’ve never been a scout.)

What’s even more impressive is finding out that all these women in the dance above are deaf or hearing-impaired.

P.P.P.S. Ever find a song that’s really cheesy bad, but like crackalicious pop? And the music video’s no better! Park Bom’s “You and I” is just that for me. I’ve played it on repeat 9 times already and I’m still good for another 9 rounds. It’s bad. As bad as the corny-tragic storyline and Magnolia Bakery product placement.
AND THUS SO YOU MUST WATCH IT WITH ME.

I actually like the redux version better from the K-drama What’s Up. If y’all don’t know What’s Up, it’s basically Fame and Glee in Korean, only with much more solid writing, amazing acting and deeper character development. When you watch the show, you really come to understand that it’s a show written by people who earnestly LOVE creating interesting characters and just adore musicals.

Ahaha.  Haaaaaaaaaaaa….  –__–

So, if you were any of the 300 people or so who couldn’t get into the Santigold show because you were not on some guest list that I wasn’t even aware that existed, I FEEL VERY BADLY.  And I’m not the only one:

from Papi: Sorry I couldn’t hang with y’all but I had to fight for the people, by any means necessary. So I hung with the stragglers all night getting them closer and closer to a party I promised the public would be free. Fucked up shit, yo. I hope Santigold made it all worth it! 16 more days of our fantasy pop up restaurant. You know how we do!

So there you have it.

Basically what went down was that the whole music and DJ component of the LA A/V Transmission Festival is supposed to be completely free to the public.  However, when security realized that, with the amount of people that were arriving, that we were wayyy past capacity, they kinda flipped out and cracked down really hard on crowd control.  Not violently so, but in a we-take-our-jobs-and-your-safety-very-seriously kind of way.

NEVER EVER DOUBT THE POWER OF SANTIGOLD AND THE MASTERY OF HER MAKE BELIEVE.

I know that there were some people who had driven 3 hours through traffic from San Diego just to watch her perform live and for that I feel very badly.  On the other hand, much kudos to the people who stuck around anyway and were like, “F*ck it!  I don’t care if they don’t let me in.  I”mma stand outside and LISTEN to her perform.”

As for me, I barely got in through the skin of my teeth (do teeth have skin??  where did this expression come from??) and actually had to pull the I’m-the-vendor card and flash my Kogi business card.  And it was still coco-nuts.

I really do feel bad, though.  It was pretty swanky once you got inside and, I’m not security, but I think the venue could have easily squeezed in an extra hundred people or so comfortably.  But I guess they were afraid of people bum-rushing the stage, which I personally don’t think would’ve been the worst thing in the world.

Santigold was golden.  The show was twice as amazing as I’d anticipated.  Her dancing pips were HARDCORE.  Her voice lasted the entire night without strain.  We heard some new tracks from her her album.

And the fact that there were a bunch of people just standing around with their drinks looking on asking who that was or that half the audience was just watching and not even bobbing their heads to her house-hip-hop-indie-ish-dancehall-electropop-infused music really irked me.  Because there were at least 200 people still outside the gates who showed up specifically for Santigold and would have totally amped up the energy of the crowd.

And so I danced like it was crazyballs.

I guess… I guess to show that I really wanted to be there.  And that I wasn’t there because my name was on some guest list and it was the cool place to be in LA that night.

I understand the purpose of guest lists — hey, it’s gotten me in quite a few amazing shindigs in the past few years — but on the flip side of things, when there are that many people who genuinely want to get in, it bothers me when I see a good percentage of the people who DID get in just standing around with their free drinks talking and showing but a mild interest in the festivities.

That’s also why sometimes when  friend tells me that she’ll put me on “The List” to get me into a party, I’ll let her know that I won’t be coming if I really don’t feel like being there 100%.  Sigh.  I know.  First World problems.  ::rolls eyes::

Uf.  I’ve probably said too much.  Let’s hope that no one of importance reads the post this week, because they’ll probably try to have me take half of this down because sometimes my opinions rock the boat a bit.  But before I can get muzzled, I did want to get that off my chest.  And who knows?  Maybe no one will try censoring me this week.  For the most part I kinda fly under the radar.

Also, let me clarify that I just wanted to express bad feelings, guilt and annoyance with what went down last Thursday night, and want to assert that I totally understand that security and the “They” were completely overwhelmed and taken aback by the number of people who showed up for the event and were just doing their jobs. And trying to prevent any potential fire hazards and human stampeding. No one wants a Black-Friday-Sale-at-Target kind of situation on their hands.

They’ve since amended their statement in regards to the free-99 quality of the music and dj sets:

Please note: the concerts and the DJ series are FREE to all ages and open to the public but subject to capacity limitations.  Be sure to check the website and facebook page each week for updates and ticketing information.

That said, it’s still an amazing festival with really off-the-chain art exhibits and a solid concert-and-DJ set and I’d encourage people to STILL come.  Just…not in droves like last Thursday night, but you know, just trickle in one-by-one if you can manage that.

Thu, April 26: Jeremy Sole and Egyptian Lover
Fri, April 27: Special Guest
Sat, April 28: Z-Trip
Thu, May 3: DJ Harvey and James Murphy
Sat, May 5: Diplo and Mad Decent Crew

*******************************************************************************
On a fairly unrelated note, since it is related to music, but has nothing to do with the show, has anyone ever followed Ailee/Amy Lee? A KA gal from Jersey who started singing on Youtube and just released her first single in Korea.

I thought she was pretty good back in ’07, but it kind of floors me how much her voice has developed in 5 years. The first clip is one of her first youtube videos on a recording session. The 2nd video is her participation in a South Korean TV special called Singers and Trainees. Basically an established singer takes someone under his or her wing and then has them compete against the other trainees for a prize. Don’t ask what the prize is because I didn’t look that far into it. That’s why you can see the dude in the sunglasses looking on with such love and pride, like a good papa bear watching his baby bear perform in public for the first time, though Ailee’s been making the underground circuit for a while now if you follow the Esna diaries on youtube.

And here’s her newly dropped single:

Speaking of music’s that’s been newly dropped, Santigold’s album just dropped yesterday in the UK, which means I will be keeping a look out on youtube this week to hear it in its entirety. Veree excited.

In the meantime, here is a link to sample her new album on soundcloud. Of course, if you’re like me and NOT currently hitting up wifi in the UK, some of the songs have been blocked off.

THE LOBSTERBACKS STILL ONE-UP US TIME AND TIME AGAIN! ::clenches fist::

For those who are confused, “lobsterback” was once a derogatory term for members of the British Army during the American Revolution who could be easily spotted miles away due to the brightness of their red coats.

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

P.S. Good lord, let us hope that I can stop apologizing in the NEXT POST, for Fate and public sentiment with Kogi hath not been especially kind these past few weeks. Wouldn’t it be better to say “THANK YOU” instead of “SORRY!!! buh…again!” in the next one?

photo courtesy of grubstreet

Yeah, that’s Mike D from the Beastie Boys.  And here’s a sample of what he has to say about Roy Chulo:

“…His work is really analogous to what a hip hop producer or dj does, chopping up a sample, re-contextualizing it, adding BEETS, maybe a little vocal and on and on.”

AHAHAHAHAHA. “BEETS”.  If you watch the vidjeo below, he is quoted as literally saying “beets”, which I am hoping is intentional and not some typo, because if the pun is intended, it’s pretty ingenious.  Because to a hungry DJ, nothing beets beats. Or nothing beats beets.  (And let me go laugh hysterically in my private corner now…)

Who knows?  Perhaps Roy Chulo will drop a roasted beet tape as a Kogi special one of these days.

::takes a moment::

Okay.  I’m over it!  I swear!  I’ll move on from the lame fixation on punning, I promise!  (Though this promise shall last only until the end of this blog post.  Lord willing.)

Roy Choi – Flavor of Los Angeles from The Avant/Garde Diaries on Vimeo.

And, as a little reminder:
PROGRAM & EVENTS
Thursday, April 19th 8-10pm, Opening with Concert by SANTIGOLD
Art Installations, DJ Set and Outdoor Restaurant by ROY CHOI
DJ Series and Concerts each Thursday, Friday and Saturday 7pm-10pm

my-my-my, you've said ENOUGH.

For Artist and DJ Lineup, please visit:
www.theavantgardediaries.com

HOURS OF OPERATION:
The festival will be open daily April 20th – May 6th.
Sunday 11am-6pm / Monday 12-6pm / Tuesday CLOSED
Wednesday Noon-10pm / Thursday Noon-10pm
Friday Noon-10pm / Saturday 11am-10pm

Roy and the Kogi Truck will be cooking for you Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays from April 20th– May 6th.

Come one, come all, dudes. It is going to be pretty KEWL. Just the Roy Chulo (that’s what I’m anointing him henceforth, since I’ve decided that Roy Choi aka Papi Chulo is just too many syllables for me to handle, if ya know what I mean, jellybean) exhibit alone will have the truck, the once-in-a-lifetime-only specials that’ll change up from week to week, his own art installations, DJs and plenty to stimulate all nine of your senses.

Yes, I said nine.

LOCATION

The Geffen Contemporary at MOCA
125 N. Central Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90013

See y’all at Trans Fest LA!!!!!!!111oneone

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

P.S. DUDE!!! DUDES!!!!! Okay, I might be the last friggin person to have noticed this, but BEYONCE has her own tumblr now! And even Baby Blue Ivy does, too! AND they’re actually amazingly well done! (I guess it pays to have a team of magical little elves at your every creative beck and call.) I’ve already started pinning the pictures like crazy on the Eat Chego Pinterest page. (Kogi BBQ Pinterest page, I shall get to you laters. –__–;;)

who bey running tha world, B?

frrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack yyyyyyyyyyyyeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!11ONE

WHO IS THE MASTER OF HER OWN MAKE BELIEVE?

And before we get started, new review of her new album HERE and you can actually pre-order the Ultimate Make Believe Package THERE, which includes, but is not limited to Master of My Make-Believe limited edition black and gold colored vinyl, the CD, a digital version of the album, a shirt, a poster and an awesomely awesome Big Mouth sticker set, which, though a free gift, is one of the super fun highlights of the package.  I’d preorder the package for the stickers and the limited edition vinyl alone.

As you can tell, I’m genuinely excited.  I’ve been waiting for her new album for what feels like CENTURIES, for there wasn’t a track on her debut album that I didn’t gobble up and hold hostage in mah tummy.  Yes, that’s a little weird.  But so is she.  Which is another reason why I like her.

She’s not overtly weird, but there’s a genuine strangeness to her that I find enchanting.

I find it interesting that some critics say that this album is a lot more “digestible” in terms of melody than her first album because I thought her 1st album was immediately kickass and just about pwned any other album that dropped that year.  It was catchy, it was fun, it was eclectic, it was interesting — from its slow-burning torch-y anthem “I’m A Lady” to its super sweet candy clatter of “Lights Out” and its surprisingly emotive “L.E.S. Artistes.”  I don’t dance in my room alone to music like normal people, but I did dance alone in my room to her 1st album during that very cold, very lonely first year in Brooklyn.  It didn’t have to GROW on me, you know?  The connection was immediate and all-consuming.

Anyway, with the whole name change from Santogold to Santigold, the delays in her subsequent album release and peoples considering this now her “re-introduction” album as if some of her fans had dropped her, I’m totally rooting for her now more than EVERRRR.  >_<

AND YOU CAN TOO!

Here’s the run-down.  Basically Mike D’s curating a 17-day audio-visual event at the MOCA called Transmission LA: A/V Club and Papi Chulo Roy Choi’s been chosen as one of the artists for the food space.  Yes, there will be specially prepared Kogi specials that you can only get when we park it there at the MOCA and no, we will never serve these specials to the public again.

That’s why they’re considered special specials.  ^___^  Heeeee.

And let’s interrupt our regularly scheduled program with a related word from Papi Chulo Roy Choi himself.

So there you have it.  It’s going to be 17 days of something pretty much amazing that LA really doesn’t get enough of.  Aside from the creative influence of Mike D and the outdoor restaurant, installations and DJ set by Papi Chulo Roy Choi, there will be a LOT to SEE.

A few technicalities before we continue further: 1) because this is a special event, the Google vouchers are not valid 2) Roy will be popping in and out to cook, so keep an eye out for him while the Kogi truck is snuggled in nice and tight at the MOCA.  What he will be cooking, nobody knows.  Not even Mike D himself.  

For the LA A/V (Audio Visual)  Transmission Show (which I am now calling LA Trans Fest for short) our specially tailored menu will go as follows:

TRANS FEST L.A. SHALL BE OPEN DAILY APRIL 20TH – MAY6TH.

AND YES, SANTIGOLD WILL BE OPENING THURSDAY NIGHT, 4/19 AT 9PM.

P.S. I have no idea why the fonts are all different sizes and mashed up like that. Perhaps the blog is unable to contain my excitement. YYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR. >__<

And her dancing pips make a RETURN in “Big Mouth”. Yayyyyy!!

nah, we ain't bringing malasadas back. but we still ruv youse!

I thought this looked festive enough for the occasion.  And in case you’re thinking, “Is this a selfish it’s-Alice’s-birthday-today post?”, let me be the first to tell you that you’d be thinking absolutely riiiiiiiiiiight.

Why?

Because everything’s been going delightfully wroooooooooong today.  Since I work the register at Chego tonight I wanted to book an extra early super quickie… um, spa treatment for my birthday.  Is that what you call it?  They basically wrap you and heat for about an hour so you can sweat out a lot of real and imaginary toxins.  Afterwards you tend to feel very light and glow-y.

But for some reason, as it turns out, the person taking care of the mornings had gotten the appointment times mixed up and arrived an hour late, which kind of backed up everything else for me in terms of responsibilities and duties for the day.  No biggie.  It happens!

But because the peoples were scrambling to still set up the space, there was a lot of cell phone action with people yammering on their phones as they rushed in and out of the room where I’m awkwardly wrapped up in heated towels and sweating like it’s Christmas in August, interrupting my time with Enya and other yoga-friendly music.

strangers + no makeup/schweaty Alice = uncomfortably awkward embarrassment

Of course, being late, that meant the people after me are getting started late, so I was kind of apologetically shoved out the door as I was halfway dressed. But, on the upside, they did give me a $15 gift certificate in honor of my birthday, so it wasn’t all that bad.

I tried to “stop by” the grocery store, but got held up.  (Though not at gunpoint.)  A lot of ambulances and car chases today apparently.

And then I came home today to receive a phone call from one of my many overseers/bosses (yes, I’ve got 4-5 different people to answer to, I’m a typical 20-something in the aspect that I’ve got 3-4 different jobs going on at the same time) to kinda chew me out for something I was asked to do.  It’s one of those situations wherein which someone asks you to do something and you do it to help them out and help the company, but later they reprimand you for it because they didn’t like the WAY you did it.

It’s kinda like someone asking you at the last minute to cover their shift because they have an emergency, which you do, but later they complain that you didn’t do things the way they wanted you to do them, even though they never told you in the first place how they wanted you to have it done.  Make sense?  I know.  That run-on was a little wordy.  And may or may not invoke a lot of mommy issues for those of you who have mommy issues.

STILL.  ::flails arms:: These things HAPPEN.  And, surprisingly enough, I don’t feel too poorly about it.  I like to be a glass half-full kinda gal.  In general, what this does is have me fairly determined to find a little bit of happy on my birthday.

SO I’MMA PROSTITUTE ONE OF YOU DUDES TO GIVE ME A LITTLE BIRTHDAY LOVE AT CHEGO TONIGHT.

See this shirt? This was a limited-run, hand-designed shirt by Reese Panganiban, one of the winners of the one and only Kogi t-shirt design context back in 2009.  We pretty much sold out of these ones fairly quickly, though as I was cleaning out my apartment and poking around, I found that I have 1 shirt left in size medium, factory-fresh.

Isn’t it adoraberr?  And yes, that’s Roy Choi Papi Chulo hanging out the driver’s side of the Kogi truck with a Kogi line trailing out behind it.

And, to my knowledge, there’s only 1 left of its original and only run.  AND I’VE GOT IT RIGHT HERE IN MY HANDS.

Basically, the first person who comes in tonight (ugh, or let’s be real here, THIS WEEK — who reads this blog right away anyway??) and gives me a birthday hug that feels REAL and REAL SPECIAL (no getting too handsies, though) will receive this LAST REESE PANGANIBAN DESIGNED KOGI SHIRT FROM THE ORIGINAL, SUPER LIMITED RUN.

I can even get someone to sign it for you if you want or if that somehow does not degrade the value or quality of this super rare piece of Kogi history.

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

P.S. I might be coordinating a short photo shoot w/ LA Mag (not for ME, sillies, the chubby pork belly bowl!!) at Chego at 5:30, so I probably won’t be getting your orders messed up until 6PM. 

P.P.S. Please be nice to me.  Ess mah birthday.

P.P.P.S.  Please don’t come to the counters tonight when there’s a line out the door and start hemming and hawing over what you want to get and then go about changing your orders the minute I ring them in.  And then ask to change it to not spicy.  And then to ask to have the eggs scrambled and on the side.  And then change your mind again because you want to start all over.  Please don’t do that.    ::awkward smile:: It’s my birthday.

P.P.P.P.S.  Please come in knowing EXACTLY what you want and how you want it and have another great, HAPPY, fun-filled night at Chego.     It’s my birthday.  And a very simple thing like that would make me very, VERY happy tonight indeed!  Love you guys!  (( H U G ))

(( H U G ))

Very sorry, March 31st and April 3rd peoples!

I’m going to see if I can figure out if there’s a way you 13 peoples can just show the voucher from 4/3 or 3/31 and have us credit you $4.

This is our first time ever doing an offer like this and I think we were just reminded in a big way why these kinds of offers just aren’t good for us or good for the peoples.  We definitely will do our homework, correct our math and get all of our ducks in a row before even thinking about attempting something of this magnitude ever again.  Ever.

It’s one of those cases where someone suggested this “great idea!” and it seemed simple enough, but it turned out to be a lot more complicated and unintentionally joy-killing than we had originally anticipated.  AGAIN, OUR APOLOGIES!  Please note that upon realizing our mistake, we felt like total @ssholes and dipsh*ts.  VERY SORRY!  ::waves hands::

And next time we’ll double check and consult with a few calculators.  ::sheepish grin:: Lord knows they’re way more effective than a couple of Asians who are abnormally bad at math.

IN THE MEANTIME, for those using the Google offers currently, here is the break down of how it works:

How to Redeem your Google Voucher
1. Have a valid voucher printed or visible on your phone.
2. To redeem, you can order anything on the Kogi menu excluding desserts or
combos.
3. Show the manager your voucher, place your order and $8 will be subtracted
from your subtotal. Tax is not included.
4. Only one voucher can be redeemed per order, per customer. You cannot
combine vouchers.
5. No cash back. Value of voucher must be redeemed in one visit.

FAQ
Q: How do I redeem my Google Offers voucher?
1. Have a valid voucher printed or visible on your phone.
2. To redeem, you can order anything on the Kogi menu excluding desserts or
combos.
3. Show the manager your voucher, place your order and $8 will be subtracted
from your subtotal. Tax is not included.
4. Only one voucher can be redeemed per order, per customer. You cannot
combine vouchers.
5. No cash back. Value of voucher must be redeemed in one visit.

Q: Can I use one voucher for more than one visit?
A: Promotional value must be redeemed in one (1) visit. No cash back for partial
redemption of promotional value.

Again, very, very sorry, and I hope I can promise you that THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

MUCH love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiice

THIS IS FOR ALL THE LOVELY PEOPLES WITH BURNING QUESTIONS REGARDING THE $8 FOR $4 KOGI VOUCHERS. The semi-pseudo 2-for-1 coupon.  I say semi-pseudo, because y’all still get $4 off whether you spend $8 or $20.

AND FOR THE PEOPLES WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, PLEASE SCROLL THROUGH THE FINE PRINT TO GET TO THE FUN PART OF THE POST.

So, as I was saying, I just wanted to offer a few clarifications regarding the Google offers — which seemed simple enough when we decided to go for it, but I guess there have been some confusion…

(CLEARED UP IN RECENT POST)  ;–__–

MOVING ON…

Dude, I’m totally an old fogey (as evidenced by my impending birthday, and the fact that I am much more dangerously close to 30 than I am to 25), so it’s only been about a month since I’ve figured out what those “pin it!” buttons mean that have been popping up all over the place.

YES, Kogibbq and EatChego now have Pinterest accounts. No, I haven’t populated them with super inneresting things yet, though I do think that they will aid me in having an area of creative focus for my insanely tangential mind.  The funny thing is that evidently both accounts have followers, though, sadly, I’ve yet to put anything up.

In other words, THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNSOLICITED SUPPORT!  I VERY MUCH APPRECIATE IT — whilst at the same time burdening myself with the embarrassment of having done nothing to earn this support just quite yet.

Anyway, I’m super new at it, so I have no idea if there’s a code of etiquette for Pinterest yet, like the unspoken rules Emily Post in regards to emails, blogs, Twitter, FB and even Tumblr.  So if anyone has a clue, feel free to clue me in, so that I can be somewhat wary or mindful of them, even as I’m breaking them.

Lord knows, I’m probably breaking them RIGHT NOW.

But from the little I know about Pinterest, it seems like the perfect outlet for all the strange and wonderful things I find when working behind the register at Chego.

seguewayseguewayseguewayseguewayseguewayseguewayseguewayseguewayseguewayseguewayseguewaysegueway

::handlebar mustache:: THINGS I FOUND…hmmmm…PINteresting. ::adjusts mustache::  (in other words: things I shall pin once I figure out how to use Pinterest.  uf!)

She came into Chego last week. I believe her name is Jade. She plays poker. She's kinda framous for it.

I love that his is all her own hair. No faux hairclip, no extensions, no cheating. IMPRESSIVE.

I loveeeee smart colors that pop... smartly. Yes. That was redundant.

Joy to the world. She comes in every week. I ruv the little motorcycle buckle she attached to her handmade scarf. And her big-arse Blossom hat. She makes the 90s look timelessly funky.

I’ve gotta say, the ladies really nail it in the style department at Chego.  The dudes don’t do too bad neither, but it’s the women who really kind of got the outerwear nailed in the creativity department.

Where the men shine, however, are with their gadgets and gizmos aplenty, and most especially their wallets.  I’ll see if I can snap a few quick ones tonight while I work the counter so y’all can see what I mean.

Yes, that is a custom-made Hard Candy blue iPhone.

Yes, he can custom-make your iPhone to be any color you want! But unfortunately for you, I lost his contact information. Boo, Alice.

But that’s about all I’ve got for the gentlemen this week.

BEE TEE DUBS, I want to issue a warning regarding BOMBARSE COUNTERFEIT $100 BILLS!!! Even if you mark them with a special marker, they will be a bit difficult to detect.

Case in point:

Can you spot the fake one?

I

will

take

up

some

space

here

for

people

who

don’t

want

spoilers

and

want  to

play a game

and see

if their

instincts are

correct.

Cuz, I KNOW,

does the actual 100-bill

have a purple stamp

or was that

added

to throw people off?

OKAY, ready to see?

IT WAS THE BOTTOM ONE.  If you look closely, it’s slightly smaller than the top bill, though it’s made from the same paper.

REAL.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…

FAKE.

Yes.  What makes it so successful as a counterfeit is that it’s actual $5 bill to begin with.  And I’m gonna go out on a limb here, but I’m guessing the counterfeiters bleached out actual $5 bills and printed over them.  So if you’re super busy and just checking for a FACE on the bill, or just marking it real quick with a marker, it’s easy to miss.

And remember.  REAL BENJAMINS HAVE PURPLE SEALS ON THEM.

I’m not even mad at the customer, because I think that even SHE was unaware that she was holding a fake.  In any case, I just wanted to give a head’s up to folks out there, especially to those who run small mom-and-pop businesses.

And now that the real Slim Shady has been propped up for all to see, y’all can return to your regularly scheduled programming.

Love, tacos and rice bowls,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiice

P.S. Other funny money I saw this weeeeeeeeeeeek.

ZOMBIE WASHINGTON. Auuuuugh!

Assasinated version of Jorge Washington. Pre-zombie-fried. KewL.

P.P.S. Chego ONLINE ORDERING IS UP! And yes, there is a $2.50 convenience fee for wrapping orders under $50.