Why?  Cuz when it comes to winter in LA, there’s nothing like ooey gooey cheese, buttered kimchi, pink ham and toasted sourdough to get you through it.  $5!

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

But don’t fret, mah pets.  You can stiLL get your KoGi on at the ALibi in CuLver City from 6PM-midnight. EXCEPT ON CHRISTMAS DAY.

Yes, yes we are fiLLed with the Christmas spirit.  And are spreading the Christmas cheer by taking your short rib tacos away for a day so that you can sit and THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE.  AND WHAT HAS BECOME OF IT IN 2009.

In aLL seriousness, though, our truck managers and staff have been busting their coLLective arses aLL year and have more than earned a littLe vacation time to spend with their famiLies this hoLiday season.

AS FOR YOU PEOPLES, no worries — I didn’t forget about y’aLL and have got the gift of LINKS this week to heLp you wiLe away the time.

THINGS TO DO ON A COLD, TRUCKLESS DAY.

* LEARN these 10 insaneLy cooL party tricks! All can be enjoyed in the name of good science and the eLicitation of awe and wonder from your party guests.  My fLavorite ones invoLve aLL the ones with matchsticks and candLeLight.  IT’S LAHK MAGIC, PEOPLES.

* MAKE your own itty bitty gingerbread house to perch on your rim of hot chocoLate. It’s a 10-12 step process that probabLy entaiLs some form of baking.

(photo courtesy of BoingBoing)

* EXPERIMENT with new amaLgamations of sweet stuff. NameLy, CooL Ranch Doritos Creme BruLee.  (Recipe incLuded on side tab of youtube vid.)
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mj12l_ZpHdw

* READ something amazing!!

* READ something to a random kid on the street – though, with the paranoias invoLving chiLd snatching these days, I don’t know how lucky you’LL get in finding a random kid on the street.  Or finding a kid that has an attention span greater than that of a circus fLea.  NevertheLess, here is Papi’s recommendation:

Not just a taLe for the hoLidays, but a taLe for aLways.

* Speaking of the hoLidays, BAKE your own hoLiday cake!  Let us thank Cake Wrecks for providing the source of inspiration:

* And if you’re gonna reaLLy, REALLY miss the trucks this week, let us not forget that IF WE BUILD IT, THEY SHALL COME. Grashus to goopymart for providing the bLueprints!

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBqUzjDdr7g

Love, tacos and cooLin it now,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

*Dear Abby Aliiiiiiiiiiiice,

I’d like to express my frustration I had today at your truck by the yahoo center at lunch. I’d like to consider myself a loyal customer. I’ve been about ten times since I moved to LA in September. I love your food enough to tell others and make them come with me.

Now, the past two times(besides today) that I came to one of your trucks I was able to use my debit card if spending a certain amount. Today, when I came, I didn’t bring cash b/c I fully expected to be able to use my card again. Well, after waiting over 30 minutes in line, I was not able to order b/c I couldn’t use my card at this truck.

Are there certain trucks that take cards, and others that don’t? If so, why would you do this?  I’m not frustrated b/c I didn’t get to eat some of my favorite tacos. I’m frustrated b/c an hour of my time was wasted by your company b/t traveling to and from work and waiting in line.

*Frustrated in Santa Monica

*Name has been changed to protect anonymity.

Dear Frustrated in Santa Monica,

First of aLL, thank you, thank you, thank you for giving us a fist bump every now and again in times of hunger.  It doth make me happies to see peopLe try KoGi for the first time — and you can just times that by 10 when I see reguLars and famiLiar faces.

Second of aLL, I hear ya.  Inconsistency is not easy to deaL with — especiaLLy when you’re hungry and especiaLLy when you’ve been waiting in line for a good whiLe.  It totaLLy sucks and I totaLLy feeL you on that one.

“Are there certain trucks that take cards, and others that don’t? If so, why would you do this?”

Are there certain trucks that take cards?  ::pause:: YES.

Why wouLd we do this?

That, my friend, isn’t exactLy the correct question.  The correct question wouLd be a “why” and leave it at that.  Asking “why wouLd you do this” impLies that we do it on purpose to mess with you — and we so totaLLy DON’T.  Yes, it’s a given that when it comes to the trucks, nothing is ever compLeteLy consistent.

With traffic, HD, cops and other fun tumbLes on the road — things happen.  Engines break down, we arrive 20 minutes late, etc.  I mean, it’s a taco truck.  Stuff happens.

But just know that no, no, no — we so totaLLy didn’t intend to waste your time, and I’m sorry you had to wait so long in line onLy to find out that you couLdn’t pLace an order.

Here’s the deaL: once upon a time, we had a credit card machine for every truck.  And it was good. Up untiL summer, it was a cash-onLy business.  Of course, when you’re on the road every day at muLtipLe locations — stuff happens.  Machines get busted in the heat of battLe.  They expire after being tossed around too many times.  One by one, they began to die off.  And it was bad.

So, for now, the onLy surviving credit card machine exists with AzuL’s dinner run.  WiLL that credit card machine be joined by its brethren in 2010?  Let us hope.

TiL then — we are open to possibLe soLutions:
* MAYBE if this happens, we can have the managers fire the food whiLe that person runs to the ATM
* Maybe we can train AzuL managers to use extra TLC with the existing credit card machine.  Who knows?  Maybe if it lasts untiL spring break, my sister wiLL reconsider investing in some more.
* We did write on the site that onLy AzuL dinner is taking credit cards, but maybe we can try and see if we can make that statement BIGGER and…BETTER.

We are DEFINITELY open to suggestions.  Just know that we hear you and we’re sorry that it happened.  To be honest, it’s just that we’re juggLing so many things at once that sometimes it’s hard to remember to notify on aLL fronts every mechanicaL breakdown or setback.  Of which there are MANY.

(( H U G ))  HopefuLLy we’LL be abLe to feed you again!  Just remember to bring cash next time or, if you’re a reguLar for a particuLar manager, see if you can sweet taLk him into putting in your order whiLe you run to the ATM.  Like an open bar tab or something.

WE SHALL MAKE IT WORK.  SOMEHOW.

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

It’s been an amazing year and the onLy way we know how to thank y’aLL is to ceLebrate it.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iF1HtWzGHG0

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

P.S. And much love to G for editing this video together!!!  Grashus for making a few pennies look like a miLLion bucks.

ALready, I’m getting bored. Look – I don’t like spending time to expLain or dissect why a joke was supposed to or intended to be funny.  IT KILLS THE PARTY.

But then again, I’m not doing this for you.  Or for the peopLe who misunderstood or didn’t “get it.”

I’m doing this for my dad.

For some reason, him hearing about peopLe accusing me of hate crimes on Twitter bothers him.  ::shrugs:: I guess he’s uncomfortabLe with the idea of totaL strangers giving his 2nd fLavorite daughter a pubLic  verbaL beat down.  (Where has he BEEN aLL of 2009?!!)

Dude, for me — if there’re 50,000 peopLe foLLowing your business on Twitter, there’re bound to be a few who don’t get every singLe joke you crack.

*********************************************************************************************

So yesterday I twittered out:  Dammit, kid. Learn some proper Engrish. Yer making us yeLLards look bad. And here is the video.  (PeopLe who experience heart paLpitations from sites such as Cute OverLoad may have to refrain from watching this.)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dblvVHv1sYk

Now I couLd’ve taken the easy route when posting up this video link on Twitter.  I couLd’ve said “OMG, SO CUTE WATCH THIS” — but that wouLd’ve been too easy foLks.  And lazy.

NOW WHY IN MY MIND MY COMMENT WAS FUNNY: (Aw, geez, this is painfuL for me.)  Okay.  ObviousLy the kid’s some kind of wunderkind genius at the ukeLeLe.  ObviousLy.  And obviousLy what makes the video so cute/hirarious is that the kid doesn’t know the lyrics.  Heck, he probabLy can hardLy string a few coherent sentences together at this stage of the game.  AND YET HE’S TOTALLY SINGING FROM THE HEART.  IN KEY.  ON THE UKELELE.

BasicaLLy, my comment was so friggin ridicurous in its accusation that THAT was the thrust of why it was funny.

RACIAL/CULTURAL UNDERTONES: Most anyone who grew up as an American-EngLish speaking kid, 2nd, 3rd, 4th generation East Asian American in the 80s and 90s wiLL understand the humor behind BEING ASHAMED OF YOUR OWN PEOPLE.  Most notabLy what us f*cked up, 2nd generation YeLLards caLLed “FOB”s.  (OfficiaLLy they’ve beey categorized as “immigrants.”) They didn’t dress “right” or spoke “Engrish” as opposed to “EngLish” — so to aLL of us maL-adjusted East Asian Americans growing up in mostLy non-Asian American schooLs, they were an embarrassment.

What was embarrassing?  Their inabiLity to grasp the EngLish language — and, when you’re 14, dammit, who cares if they’ve bareLy been in this country for 2 weeks — and their prediLection for not dressing up like aLL the other Americanized sheep in the haLLways — cuz in middLe schooL, who cares if they’ve yet to watch what peopLe are wearing on My So-CaLLed Life or 90210 — and their tendency to hang out with either the other FOBs or worse, FOBs who specificiaLLy spoke their language.  2nd gens wiLL understand the cringe that haunted their accusatory thoughts: Why do they aLL have to stick together???!

I mean, American kids grow up on a diet of insecurities once they hit middLe schooL.  So imagine the added seLf-fLageLLation, the irrationaL compLexes some non-White kids experienced in majority White schooLs.  It happens!

Lucky for us, the current generation of YeLLow peopLe in pubLic schooLs are a lot more accepting of FOBs/immigrants and are even taking pride in the word “FOB” or describing something as “fobby.”  Or poking fun at “Engrish” — because dammit, it no longer hoLds them down or makes them feeL unnecessariLy ashamed.

AND IF YOU STILL DON’T GET IT, let me shorthand it for you and advise for you to check out FUPenguin, Engrish.com and this cLassic Dave ChappeLLe skit on a fictionaL character named CLayton Bigsby: a bLind, BLack man who was raised by Whites in the Deep South to become a White supremacist leader.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFR9xkZm4ck

Now don’t you worry you’re pretty littLe heads about this kiLL-joy of a bLog post.  There shaLL be a KICKASS AWESOME VLOG upLoaded by the end of the day that was put together by one of mah fLavorite interns.

If you thought it was phenomenaL last week, WAIT TIL YOU SEE VLOG #2: THE BDAY BASH.  You literaLLy feeL the love and excitement permeating between every cut, every image, every beat of the backing track.

IT’S AMAZING.

TiL then, toodLes, poodLes and LUGAW IS LAW.

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

LittLe known fact: Papi may know K-town inside and out, the best pLace to get some buche or aL pastor, or where to go to get the best pLace to eat a reaLLy great duck confit for under 30 doLLars — but when it comes to Chinese food, he’s unfamiLiar with most of what lies outside LA’s Chinatown.

As for my own knowLedge of Chinese food –  I just know that I generaLLy like it. Thass aLL.  I’m not going to go aLL anthropoLogicaL on y’aLL cuz one — I don’t have the goods for it, and two — I just find it reaLLy  annoying.

I don’t like it when eating great food is framed as a NationaL Geographic excursion. Why dissect, transLate and interpret something that isn’t a part of you or something you’LL never 100% understand because you weren’t born into it?  And, let’s be reaL, here: YeLLow American bLoggers can be just as guiLty of this as White Americans on TV.

No need to have someone teLL you if something is good or bad, or how to eat this properLy or how to eat that the right way — or what region of this littLe known viLLage of this littLe known province it came from and how it was popuLar for the emperor’s bastard chiLdren in the 14th century.

JUST ENJOY IT, mmmkay?

So, anyway, we chose a Taiwanese (ok, not technicaLLy “Chinese,” I know)spot that I think is caLLed SinbaLa.

Papi perusing the pictures. (Cuz it’s hard when you don’t know how to read!!!)  <– PLEASE know that I’m kidding.

They had a lot of sausages to choose from.  I think it was their speciaLty.

So we got a pLate of sausage rice. I don’t know if I have to name every singLe thing on the pLate since you are aLready eating with your EYES, but just know that it was DERCIOUS, mmmkay?

The rice was nice and sticky — which was cooL cuz it totaLLy absorbed aLL those meaty juices and thick brown sauces, and the scrambLed eggs were SO DAMN FLUFFY it must’ve been made from angeL poop.

And eating the rice pLate made me reaLize how much I friggin love canned corn.

I know that we, as Americans, are on a new organic, minimaLLy-processed dietary sLant, but perhaps I can’t ever change what I, as a chiLd of immigrants, have been sociaLLy engineered into craving: canned vegetabLes.  Canned meats aLso rank highLy on that list.

But yeah — the bright medLey of canned corn, peas and carrots somehow add a dash of sunshine to any dish. And, most notabLy, this pLate of sausage rice.

SPEAKING OF SAUSAGE…

Taiwanese peopLe, you’re so friggin weird, I RUV it! Your dietary quirks amuse this homegrown, LA-raised KA.  It was the “Sausage w/ ChocoLate” that first caught my eye, but dammit if that “Sausage w/Lemon Sauce” doesn’t sound like a treat for a very speciaL occasion.

We aLso got the spicy beef noodLe soup, which wasn’t very spicy to me. StiLL the broth was AMAAAAAAZING.  It was super dark and deepLy fLavored, but it wasn’t oiLy or heavy at aLL.

SinbaLa: how you do that?

Afterward, we went to the supermarket to see the animaLs. PartLy because the nearest aquarium was miLes and miLes away and wouLd have charged us 20 bucks per head.

Look at the fishies!!!  Oh, wait.  They’re DEAD.

Turn away, chiLdren.  Turn away.

On another note, the froggies were very much aLive and onLy $3.49 a pound! 

They were quite large, so buying an entire famiLy of froggy deLight might set you back 20 bucks or so.

Anyway, thass aLL for now!  TiL next time…

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

Not that you can teLL.  Point-and-shoot cameras kind of suck when it comes capturing rainfaLL.

::pause::

And now you think I’m lying cuz it just looks like a wet street.

HOLD UP.

I’ve said it once, andI shaLL say it again: PHOTOSHOP DOES SOLVE EVERYTHING.

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1gt4WbuLug

Many things to our intern G for heLping us cobbLe this together!

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

If y’aLL don’t aLready know, Luis’s 10-12 hour shift normaLLy ends at 1AM. But for the peopLe of Santa CLarita, he, the Roja crew and Papi gave it everything they got tiL our trucks had nothing to give no more.  So HUGE THANKS to Luis and his crew.  They truLy are amazing.

I’m so sad I didn’t make it out there, last night — but let the Twitter foLks give you an idea of what went down. Read cLoseLy and you’LL start to get a vague idea of what makes a gangsta stop a gangsta stop.

GRASHUS for coming out, y’aLL.  Making you peopLes happies makes the extra gas, miLeage and wear and tear on our poor Roja more than worth it.

That said, I’m pretty sure that this dude is not the onLy one that experienced this.  First of aLL — I’m so sorry you had to experience that. I know it’s getting coLd out there, I know!  We need to figure out a good cuddLe system so strangers can come together for the primary purpose of generating body heat.  IT CAN BE DONE.

Second of aLL — line-cutting is NOT cooL. This is something we’ve witnessed at Diamond Bar, as weLL and something we’LL be addressing on an upcoming vLog I’m stiLL cutting.

Since the staff is 1,000% focused on taking orders and cooking their arses off, aLL I can do is leave it to the peopLe: use some common sense and common courtesy. It reaLLy sucks for the peopLe standing in line for over an hour to have a bunch of peopLe just jump in front of them at the last minute.  NOT COOL.

And, as much as we love SCV, if we get a lot more emaiLs or tweets about this going on, we might have to truck on eLsewhere.

KoGi gangsta stops are aLL about good times and making do with what we’ve got. Working with each other.  Figuring out how we can make it through the stop together.

But if it becomes a space and a pLace where the dark underbeLLy of the wiLd, wiLd west reigns supreme, we might have to move on.

SO LET’S ALL WORK TOGETHER, YEAH??

HOLY SH*T!  AHAHAHAHA.  Now THIS, peopLe, is truLy the KoGi way of passing time in a line.

For those of you who are unfamiLiar with Ninja, here are some cLips to give y’aLL an idea:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTO8ihUi2bw
and
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrtJzCCHBsg

So yeah — if you’re not into picking up on dudes or ladies, perhaps Entering the Dragon with a game of Ninja is, pLay by pLay,  The One True Way.

Y’aLL are rockstars.  I must remind aLL our late night KoGi fans to bundLe up like Eskimos.

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.  I feeL reaLLy badLy about this. The best I can do in this situation is to ask the managers to cut off the line earLier if they think that they’re going to run out of food before reaching the end of the line.

HopefuLLy we can mend that wounded heart the next time around!

(( H U G ))  Thank you, thank you, thank you two sooooooooooo much for coming out. You both went baLLs out onLy to have us have nothing to offer you at the end of the day.  SeriousLy, we know how that feeLs.  1,000%!

There are days when we get the whoLe staff amped up about this reaLLy cooL spot, we pack extra food, put some more gas in the tank, roLL up and then — to have it aLL shut down in 5 minutes!  You have no idea how sad the truck gets when they’re ready to go, but there’s no one to serve.  And to have to face being cornered with the law on top of that as weLL.

I truLy feeL you on this one and, reaLLy appreciate that you came aLL this way for us to feed you.

I couLdn’t have put it any better myseLf.

So my cLarion caLL for Santa CLarita and especiaLLy for aLL gangsta stops in the future: You give us 100%, and we’LL give you 1,000%. We’LL make do with what we’ve got, we’LL caLL for backup if possibLe and need be, we’LL work our fingers to the bone for a few extra hours beyond our capacity — in the kitchen, just know that we’ve committed ourseLves to to stay in the trenches.

When it comes to the kitchen, manning the insides of the truck — we’ve got you covered.

But we need for you to cover us too.

In the heat of battLe, we need not onLy your patience and your wiLL to wait it out — but we aLso need for you to turn to each other, taLk to a stranger, work things out. If peopLe are cutting lines, we need for you and like-minded foLks to figure out how to prevent or deaL with that kind of behavior.  If there is a crowd controL issue, we need for you to put your minds together and think of a way to soLve it.

We are doing the best we can to give you everything we’ve got from the inside of the truck. And now we’re asking you to heLp us out in giving us everything you’ve got when it comes to handLing the KoGi cLan outside of it.

And maybe, in the end, you’LL figure out what exactLy it is that makes a KoGi gangsta stop truLy gangsta.

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice