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THE JANUARY DETOX and the Chego Fist Bump

THIS IS LITERALLY THE THOUGHT PROCESS MY BRAIN ENGAGES WITH BEFORE I COMMIT TO BUYING A DETOX PACKAGE.

I was looking through Lifebooker the other day (and for those of you who aren’t in the know, Lifebooker is the single-serving Groupon for the health-and-wellness-beauty industry) and realized that we, in LA, are just allergic to the word “diet.”  We’ll go on a Master Cleanse, we’ll book 5 sessions at an infrared sauna, we’ll invest in mango appetite suppressant pills (which supposedly delivers the same results as the hoodia craze that hit Hollywood back in 2006) — but we don’t like to commit our New Year’s resolution to simple diet and exercise.  Or we’ll just herd all of the above options under the word “detox”, ie, “I’m not dieting, I’m on a detox.”

Surprise or no surprise, all of the detoxes or detox-promoting wellness sessions below promote clearer skin, a boost in energy, a decrease in cellulite, an increase in your metabolism and, of course, weight loss.  And I guess it’s all about picking your poison.

THE WRAPS
Slimming Wrap
Aloe Wrap
Infrared Wrap (I actually tried this one and noticed a difference after 7 sessions.  My rec is to buy a package of them at a discount.  1 session won’t do you any good.)
Chocolate Souffle Body Wrap

THE INJECTIONS
B12 Injections
Lipotropic Slim Shots

THE SCI FI
Ultrasonic Cavitation Fat Removal
Laser Lipo Session
Zerona Fat Removal Session
Cool Sculpting Fat Freezing Cellulite Reduction

WE JUST REALLY HATE CELLULITE IN L.A.
Bio-Dermology Cellulite Reduction
VelaShape (with the power of radio frequency and infrared light, cellulite supposedly pulls a Houdini)
Vacuodermie Cellulite Reduction
Venus Freeze Cellulite Reduction

THE MISCELLANEOUS
Fat-burning lemonade
Ionic Foot Bath (trust me, it’s a little weiiiird)
HcG Drops
Coffee Colonhydrotherapy (yes, they stick organic, fair trade coffee up your wa-hoo)

In other news, I can’t believe it’s taken so long for me to post up pictures of our adorable little Chego truck, parked right outside our former restaurant space.  The quarters may be as small and humble as Shakira’s breasts, but its heart is just as big and fat as it’s ever been.

Like I mentioned before, the Chego truck’s going to be around this season, but may vanish as soon as the temperature rises to a comfortable 75 degrees.  So I super encourage y’all to pay Micko and Jose a visit while y’all still can.  And, as always, its operating hours remain at 11:30AM-2:30PM for lunch and 5:30-11:30PM for dinner, Tuesday through Saturday.

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

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