ghost post: Existential Thoughts of the Day #01

There are just too many cool things on the internet. And no, it’s not a good thing.

On the flippant side of things, I can argue that it’s not a good thing for my wallet, it’s not a good thing for the inadequate length of my attention span and that it only tempts the insatiable beasts of procrastination.

Like a moderate drug addict who’s burnt her way through ketamine, then ecstasy, then — apparently there’s this new designer drug called “zen” — I burn my way through one blog to the next, one tumblr to the next, searching for the next high, something that will stimulate my “THASS SO COOL” neurons. It’s Thanatos for the year 2012, like that instinctual drive for death, there’s an instinctive drive to stave off boredom by inviting in the sweet burn out of boredom with my addict-like consumption of Tumblrs, blogs, vlogs and the pop cultural landscape of creativity to the point of oblivion.

I can totally see why there have been so many vampire-inspired and zombie-crazed pop cultural memes, shows and films in the past decade, that there’s some level of unconscious identification going on with the undead and the living dead.  Pop cultural addicts we are, we eat brain, we feed off the life force of others.

More than saying that the internet is the problem, though, I think it’s much more honest to assert that my relationship to all that is eBay, Tumblr, Vimeo and even Pinterest can become an issue.

While plugging in constantly can be a good thing to keeping abreast of it all, it might not be such a healthy thing for keeping track of what’s going on inside the human soul.

When there’s so much wonderfully distracting noise happening on the outside, when we form opinions and engage in conversation, it becomes harder and harder to distinguish between what is actually coming from US and what is actually coming from a place of I-agree-I-disagree: “I agree with that opinion”, “I don’t agree with that opinion.”

I think that’s why going back to Chego for the past few months to bus tables and work the cash register has been good for me.

I’ve always loved Chego, don’t get me wrong, but I guess it’s not much different from a long-distance relationship.  You can hold phone calls and write emails and see pictures, but unless you make the move to regularly see your true love in person on a pretty regular basis, it can become dangerously easy to just go through the motions.

Granted, it’s not energetically sustainable for me to be at Chego every night into perpetuity when that isn’t my primary job, but it’s got me getting a little creative on ways I can stop in from time to time to check in and fully be present.  Not distracted, not half on my phone, half hanging out with the kitchen.  But to be there for a good bit, giving Chego my full, undivided attention.

Same probably goes for the trucks, as I understand that my posts have been fairly Chego-heavy the 1st half of 2012.

Anyway, that’s my existential schpiel for the moment.  Interestingly enough, by the time anyone ventures to read this POST WITHOUT PICTURES AUUUGH! SO MANY WORDS!, I’ll be communing with some mountain somewhere in South America, taking a long needed break from the internet and the popular consciousness. No joke.  And it shall be awesome.  So enjoy this short ghost post in my absence.  I’d apologize for the lack of pictures and shiny things, but that would kind of defeat the whole purpose of a weird, existential post, wouldn’t it?  ^__^

Love and tacos,


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