So, for those of you who are already ordering online or were on the fence about it, I do have some pretty reasonably good news to share with y’all. The $2.50 surcharge is now the way more reasonable $1.50.
Why the surcharge? The online ordering system charges us by the month, so we wanted to just ensure that we at least broke even. After going over the numbers over the past month, however, it seems like we can get by on charging $1.50, so yay for you guys! ^_____^
I think it’s TRUE STORY time.
TRUE STORY: I Like You, I Really, Really Like You… But Just Not In That Way.
Have you ever met people/clients/customers you just genuinely like and love to see walk in the door? I do!
So it’s natural to be super excited to see them every week and playfully friendly.
Buh… I think we know where this story is going. But I shall continue to tell it nonetheless.
There was someone I really liked — we’ll call him Juan — who came in every week. Sometimes he would come with friends, sometimes he would come by himself, but always he would come with his affable little personality, his tall glass of sunshine, which I super adored. To me, we were almost buddies, in a sense.
Then the other week, he told me congrats on seeing me in the paper and asked if he brought it in, if I could sign it. I was a little embarrassed but said, “Sure beans!”
He came the next week dressed in a dapper suit and perfumed with… some kind of hard liquor. And asked for a photo with me that I could later sign, which at first I said okay to, but then… but then… he got a little handsy with me.
Nothing vulgar, he didn’t grab for a chicken part (breast, thighs, legs), but he reached out and held my hand and… okay, there is friendly hand holding with an old friend — normally of the same sex — and then there is lascivious hand holding. The kind where the other person holds your hand and kind of… caresses your awkward handshake with his exploratory fingers while leaning in and smiling with hooded eyes.
YES. HE WAS SMILING WITH HOODED EYES.
And granted he might have been slightly drunk, but it kind of sends a red flag when the dude’s eyes are half-closed, he’s smiling real big and stroking your hand with his fingers. All whilst leaning into your personal space.
It was like I’d received a shock of water. Someone you saw as your play school buddy, your trusty peanut butter and jelly sandwich, the dependable Ziploc baggy in your lunch bag was making it known that he has not-so-innocent thoughts directed towards you.
And so I did what any other normal little girl would do and ran for the hills. Or in this case, the kitchen. And every time I ventured out to bus food, I avoided looking at him like the scared little girl I was.
I wasn’t cold or angry or mean about it. I was more like awkwardly looking in the other direction and humming every time he looked my way and came towards me.
I felt badly, but I didn’t know how else to handle it since I was on the clock and I had a job to do and I didn’t know how to communicate to him that what he just did made me super uncomfortable but I like him just fine when he’s perfectly platonic and sober — and could he please NEVER DO THAT AGAIN?
Look, I’m not used to peoples making passes at me. I get nervous and awkward and flustered and — if I see that person as a BUDDY and not a crush — a little scared. (Can y’all see why I’m currently single?)
And what makes me a little disconcerted and sad about the situation is that when I came into Chego last week and helped out a bit and I SAW him (obviously sober) I came on over to smooth things over, say hi and he just gave me the angry cold shoulder.
I tried 3 times, saying hello, giving him a bright smile, asking how he was. But all he did was look kinda pissed, and then turned the other direction and pretended he didn’t see me.
Now, I ran the scenario in my head several times and couldn’t figure out where exactly everything turned out so wrong. Maybe I ruined it when I got scared and avoided him that night. Or maybe he ruined it when he made a pass at me. Either way, that dynamic between us is ruined nonetheless and I just hate when that happens.
Also, what is a girl supposed to do? Especially if it was someone you liked plenty before he made the drunken pass? Encourage it? Set boundaries? Pretend it’s not happening? (I tried to do the “pretend it’s not happening” thing to no avail.) Also, it has me thinking of all the servers and bartenders in other restaurants — how do they handle it?
Granted, my role of power is a bit different in Chego than it is for the other bussers and cashiers, but there is still a bit of power dynamic at play between myself and the customer. Can you flirt with me? Sure, I might flirt back with you. I like to playfully tease and be teased.
But when a person crosses that line and touches me in a way that very clearly FEELS… oh, c’mon, it was totally sexual! — what is the protocol then?
It’s strange. It’s a regular paying customer who genuinely enjoys the food, so I want him to come back. But at the same time, he’s intruding on my space and doing something that is not okay with me.
And I don’t care if it’s totally okay with other servers or cashiers, it’s not okay with me. I hate that line of thinking — “Well, it doesn’t bother ME, so it shouldn’t bother YOU.” It’s obnoxious and can hinge on being abusive if the person who asserts that is in a position of power.
So if it’s not okay with me, how do I communicate that with someone I liked and respected in a different context? I recognize that he’d been drinking and was possibly unaware of how way out of bounds his actions were and how uncomfortable they had me feel.
Perhaps, in his head, all it was…was, “I touched your hand. And I was happy to see you. And my eyes get like that when I drink alcohol. And when I leaned in and made a move to touch you somewhere else, I simply lost my balance due to the alcohol.”
And I’m being VERY generous with that perhaps.
And perhaps he also didn’t realize that he made a move to touch my waist, which I slipped out of.
Look, I’m a naturally friendly person. And I make it my mission to like every person who comes in through the doors of Chego (unless that person is behaving like a complete jackass). So is the onus on me if my friendliness is misconstrued as romantic or sexual interest?
Rationally, logically, I don’t think I did anything wrong. And yet, the situation, how it went down, still bothers me. How he was obviously angry and wouldn’t speak to me the next week still bothers me. Because before the drunken pass he was a perfectly nice guy. And I’m sorry if he thought that maybe I was interested in him, but at the same time… is that something I need to apologize for on his behalf?
It’s so much easier when the other person is a complete jerk or naturally douche-y. But he’s not. And as a customer I was once buddies with, his old, affable self is sincerely missed.
Anyhoo, I’m going to chew on this one for a while — and I’m open to advice or suggestions. I may not take them, mind y’all, but I will totally hear them out!
Love and tacos,