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PLS DON’T BE A DOUCHEBAG, CHEGO LUNCH + cooL and amazing…things!

I think the name of this hoodie is the WE DON'T CARE...BEARS. ahahahahahah! >_<

Let me preface this by saying that 95% of the people are reallllly amazing!!!!  It’s just the sh*tty 5% that hold up the line and are oh-so-helpful in making things difficult. Maybe I’ll do a series (though lord knows if I can maintain it, with my attention span) focusing on one specific issue per week.

THIS WEEK: “I KNOW SO-AND-SO…(so can I get free food?)” and the “WELL IF I ORDER IT WITHOUT THE ____ HOW MUCH LESS DOES IT COST ME?”

Believe it or not, we had a two-for-one special guy come in a few weeks back.

I sh*t you not, this dude comes moseying up to the counter and starts ordering a bunch of things and then closes with, “Hey, Tyler always gives me free food.  So can you…?”

Nuh uh.  You just did NOT use our sous chef’s name to get yourself a free meal, did you?

ME: Um, unless someone tells me to comp somebody’s meal directly, I don’t give out free food.
DUDE: Roy Choi’s also a really good friend of mine.  He might be a little upset if you didn’t, oh, just GIVE me something.  You’re new here, right?
ME: …kind of.
DUDE:  He usually looks out for me, Roy.  That’s all.  Tyler, too.
ME: ::smiles:: So do you want to pay for your food or not?
DUDE:  Um, totally cancel that order, then.  I just want the chubby pork belly bowl.
ME:   😀  Sure!
DUDE:  But if I take off the cilantro and the cheese and the radishes, does that knock off a few dollars off the bowl?
ME:   –___–   No.
DUDE: What if I decide to forgo on half the sauce, too?  I mean, keep the radishes, but go light on the sauce.  What will that cost me? It’s gotta be cheaper, right?
ME:   >=/  One would think so, but no.
DUDE: What if I got 25% less pork in the bowl?  How much will that cost me?
ME:  >=(   Should I start taking someone else’s order?
DUDE: Nope.  I’ll just get the pork belly bowl.  I was just kidding.
ME: Ha.  Ha.  (asshole)
[he hears me]
DUDE:  I said I was just kidding.
ME:  That’ll be $9.63.

Why do people DO that?  WAI?  Or maybe my question is — why do they think it’s funny?  He was totally trying not to laugh the whole time — and the annoying part was that he wasn’t drunk and he wasn’t high, so there was no excusing his behavior.

And NO, he was definitely not Tyler’s friend.  Much less Roy’s.

NOTE TO CUSTOMERS: If you have to ask for free food, you’re probably not gonna get any.  My own friends insist on paying for food and I’ve never given them an entire meal for free-99.  And though this guy knew how to put the “ass” in “asinine”, he’s not the first patron who’s tried to negotiate a discount for taking off garnishes.  Peoples, this is not the Silverlake Flea Market or that monthly trip to the Pasadena Rose Bowl!  While I can make little adjustments here and there, overall you get what you get and you don’t get upset.  There are just too many people to tend to in the line for my brain to have the capacity to get a little creative with the math regarding how many cents to take off a $9 bowl for someone who doesn’t want cheese or cilantro.  I can totally see why there are some restaurants out there with a sign, in caps, “NO SUBSTITUTIONS.”

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One more request!  IF IT’S UNOPENED AND ON THE SHELF, PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH IT.  PLEASE DO NOT OPEN THE MAE PLOY.  THE MAE PLOY IS NOT FOR YOU.  IT IS A RAW INGREDIENT FOR ONE OF OUR SAUCES IN THE KITCHEN.

It makes me a little sad to see this on a table:

NOT for table service!

THIS IS A RAW INGREDIENT FOR THE KITCHEN!  PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH THE THINGS IN THE PANTRY THAT ARE UNOPENED!

Dude, the Mae Ploy’s next to the econo-sized tub of Sambal sauce and the sacks of rice.  Does it make sense to open up a sack of rice and sprinkle a few grains over your bowl?

That said, I understand that it may be confusing and/or tempting for the people who want extra condiments. It’s kind of out in the open. But so is the rice.  And the large jugs of vinegar.  And mirin.  And gallon-sized buckets of soy sauce.  But still, I’ll admit, it’s tempting when it’s out there sitting on the shelf unprotected. So shame on us for not putting up signs to deter guests from ransacking the sacks of rice and chili flakes!  Lesson LEARNED.

Mmmm… so for now, let’s just establish a rule of them from here on out: unless it’s sitting, cap-off on the to-go table, it’s not for your rice bowl!  ::shakes finger::

Here are a few examples of what are off-limits:

OFF LIMITS

OFF LIMITS

OFF LIMITS

But what is perfectly fine is if you see the Sriracha sauce ALREADY OPENED and out on the to-go table.

Sriracha on the table? ESS OTAY!!

When in doubt, please ask!

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In other news, the Trans Fest LA is still going on at the Geffen in LT, on 1st and Central.  I’d definitely invite y’all to check out Episode 0 of Food is the New Rock w/ Zack Brooks and Mike D and our own Roy Chulo regarding the exhibit.  While I didn’t catch the show last Friday, I did check out the exhibit on Saturday and it just BLEW.  MY. MIND.  Especially one section in particular.

spinspinspinspinspinspinspinspin

SPOILERS!  There’s this one section where you go inside a tunnel of multicolored ribbons of light that twists out and leads into this open mouth of a room with moving video projections on every wall and floor where you feel like you’re sucked inside this video game.  And if you walk backward while focusing on the drunken, setting sun, you get this intense sense of vertigo.  And when you walk out it leads you to a field of spinning Candy-Land-colored, multi patterned windmills.  END SPOILERS.

If you’re like me who wants to flirt with the experience of acid without having to risk blasting one’s braincells, this very section of the exhibit is the one to see.

And, though not as immediately visually stimulating, I super duper recommend checking out the Sky Ladder portion.  Just walk inside, watch the videos, walk back out and be prepared to be surprisingly moved.

AND REMEMBER — it’s ABSOLUTELY FREE and only going on for 1 more week!  As for the shows, now they have a nifty system where you can RESERVE YOUR FREE TICKET so you are guaranteed a spot. And if you don’t really care for crowds or the awesome shows, no ticket necessary to see the exhibit.  You can just breeze on in while it’s still open.  Also, what’s cool is that with the exception of SKY LADDER, you can take as many pictures and shoot as much video as you want to.

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RANDOMLY COOL THINGS I SAW FROM BEHIND THE CASH REGISTER AT CHEGO THE PAST 2 WEEKS

It's Porkchop! (i think.)

YETI TIME.

Mmmm. I want to press HIS buttons. <-- that was meant to be mildly flirtatious, but I think it came out as full-on creepies.

Atari-era SPACE INVADERZZZZZ... >_< now in super technicolor!

yay! Beth's sriracha bars now have loveably blue, deliciously pastel turquoise wrappers.

ALSO, ANNOUNCEMENT ON CHEGO LUNCH!!

ESS COMING.  –__–

Yeah, yeah, Alice.  “Ess” always coming, “ese”.

No, but REALLYS!  And it actually has a tentative launch date: May 15th.

No dine in, take-out only with a limited menu.  More details forthcoming!  Yaaaaaaaaaaar!

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

P.S. KEWLLLLL!!!!! >_< Click on video if you want to see a subwoofer affect water so that it appears to defy gravity.

P.P.S. Double kewl! Ever seen the 1,000 arm Kuan Yin dance? It’s mesmerizing. Sometimes I just want to tell kids they don’t need to take no drugs to trip heavy. Just find a really good video on youtube and it should hit the spot. Scout’s honor. (I’ve never been a scout.)

What’s even more impressive is finding out that all these women in the dance above are deaf or hearing-impaired.

P.P.P.S. Ever find a song that’s really cheesy bad, but like crackalicious pop? And the music video’s no better! Park Bom’s “You and I” is just that for me. I’ve played it on repeat 9 times already and I’m still good for another 9 rounds. It’s bad. As bad as the corny-tragic storyline and Magnolia Bakery product placement.
AND THUS SO YOU MUST WATCH IT WITH ME.

I actually like the redux version better from the K-drama What’s Up. If y’all don’t know What’s Up, it’s basically Fame and Glee in Korean, only with much more solid writing, amazing acting and deeper character development. When you watch the show, you really come to understand that it’s a show written by people who earnestly LOVE creating interesting characters and just adore musicals.

0 Responses to PLS DON’T BE A DOUCHEBAG, CHEGO LUNCH + cooL and amazing…things!

  1. Sleepyhead says:

    everytime I say “I know Alice” to the cashierperson they always tack on a surcharge (or is that a hercharge)
    now why is that, why is that i ask?

    another pet peeve that gets my goat is when people stand in line yapping away or texting away and then get to the front and don’t know what they’re going to order or even what’s on the menu..it’s a little thing but just a little line protocol please.

    looking forward to the chego drive-thru!

  2. Bill says:

    Simple solution…

    Douchebag: “I know *so and so* (possibly with other words…)”
    You: OK, that will be (price of item +$1)
    Douchebag: But shouldn’t I (get free food/discount/etc) since I know him? Why are you charging me more now?
    You: If you really knew *so and so*, you’d know he told me to charge an extra dollar to people who claim to know him, whether they know him or not.

    Stay cool Alice. 🙂

  3. tiff says:

    Oh boy, I totally feel you. Reading that dialogue definitely reminds me of these kind of customers I encounter at my work. If you’re such good friends with someone that works in a particular business, wouldn’t you want to SUPPORT their business, rather trying to take advantage of free things? C’MON.

  4. Alice Shin says:

    Sleepyhead — lucky dog, you! My name alone is worth the extra surcharge. And ahaha, YES, you are absolutely RIGHT. It kinda drives me nuts when people wait until they get to the front of the line to answer a phone call and can’t decide one what they want when THERE’S A LINE BEHIND THEM. Just last week I’ve started to take the eager people behind them first, which sent the message right-quick.

    Bill — how can I stay admirably cool when I can’t help being a little hotheaded? ^__^ Heeeeeeee.

    Tiff — grashus for the empathy, mah dear! Bee tee dubs, dude — you know the banner for your blog? Where you’re wearing the bear/paw hat and saying “rawr”? I HAZ THE SAME ONE!!! Only the polar-bear-color, which I may or may not break out during a LOST marathon.

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