Apologies for what’s looking to be a very, very harried post.  AND ironic!  Last week it was too much sleep and this week, it’s too little.  I have a strange feeling I’m going to go on a lot of random arse tangents that may or may not be mildly entertaining/informative.  To give you a little indication of my level of consciousness, I normally go to bed by 10:30PM, but the past two nights, it’s been 2:30AM.  And now I’ve got hiccups.

ALSO apologies for the lack of pictures. I’m writing this all down in one sitting and have very little to no time to scour the internets for photos — much less edit. Hopefully I won’t make too many people mad or upset, which is what I have this accidental tendency to do when I do have the time to go over and edit my posts 5 different times on the initial posting day.

ALSO… I’m so rambly and talky I wonder if it’d better behoove me to start up a podcast, since human eyes get tired of reading so much damn copy/words!!!

Anyway, I intended to have my bags packed for a trip by now, but as it seems, that’s undone and it doesn’t feel right to get started until AFTER I’ve posted up this blog and tended to my regular Kogi duties.

Bee-tee-dubs, my sister’s very big on letting me know that I’ve got to let everyone know that I’m “going on vacation” — which irks me, since it’s not like I’m packing up for some galavanting with Captain Jack Sparrow in the Carribean, or tripping out for a full week on shrooms and Jimson weed out in Joshua Tree.  I won’t be clubbing or going to war and taking names in the presence of beautiful strangers.

I’ll be studying. In school!!!


I know.

Not that it’ll be a chore — it’s a fun school, it really is.  I had friends call it my Harry Potter school, and I guess it certainly is the Hogwarts of energetic medicine, when it comes to that realm of alternative healing.  But it’s not like we’ll be sitting on our arse all day, counseling crystals and singing kumbaya with the Pleadians.  (Not that there’s anything wrong or boring about that, either.)

I’ll be expecting about another week of very little sleep, as that’s been my experience at my last two week-long courses.

It’s actually I very fun school.  You see, they lock you in a room with a bunch of unwashed strangers, feed you a crust of bread once a day and utilize you for hard labor in their backdoor factory to help out with their new product line — all while bestowing praises upon praises upon our great masters, and telling us how we must disconnect from all friends and family members who have not been initiated with the ascended, Illuminated Beings. And then we eat Thetans for breakfast.


I just finished reading that Paul Haggis vs. The Church of Scientology article in the New Yorker (IT’S REALLY LONG) and it’s been playfully messing with my imagination.

My take?  I see a lot of projection and a lot of “the oppressed becoming the oppressor” going on.  In retrospect, everything that L. Ron Hubbard accused psychiatry of, the church of Scientology…kinda perpetuates.  Good and bad!  (Apparently L. Ron Hubbard had a chip on his shoulder regarding psychiatry because he had a lot of cool ideas he thought could help people, but was shut down by The Establishment.)

If you look at it, Scientology has a lot of helpful practices that can help build the road to good mental and emotional health.  It’s just that its terminology is a little more intergalacty than the mainstream peon would probably feel comfortable with.  Then again, it’s a “religion” (and I do use that term loosely) that’s been created by a best selling sci fi author.  They use the word “auditing” for spiritual counseling and “contact” for the laying of the hands to remove the emotional impact of a physical trauma.

They also have a few shady practices with their Sea Org child labor camps, and the whole forcing disconnect with non-Scientology family members should they be deemed a “1.1” is a bit disconcerting.  On top of taking 10% of your earnings.  On top of mandatory coursework that can eventually end up costing half a million dollars in tuition alone.

It’s like indentured servitude, but it’s not.  It’s like a cult, but with clean, smiling, very middle-America face.

But what I find disturbing is not their practices — for it seems only in extreme cases that it’s impossible to get out or leave (like the mob), is that it (and this is a very American mentality) purports to fix you.  Save you.  Rescue you.  Make you a better robot.

ANYWAY, IT’S WORTH THE READ.  And if you’re worried about all the above spoilers, GOOD LORD, IT’S 26 PAGES LONG.  There’s a lot more information and story going on.

My, I’ve gone off another long tangent, haven’t I?  Was it about Scientology again???

Yes.  School.  Fun!  Lots of work, lots to learn, but super fascinating and interesting, nonetheless.  Especially for someone who used to be a chronic skeptic.  I’ve also come to see that skepticism is a tool we use to write off things we don’t understand.  Cohesive criticism is probably more helpful.

For me, I leave the critical mind at the door when I go to class, take notes, learn lots, do some hands-on training, then pick up my notebook to ask those questions later.  I tend to pick up more when I do this: ask about how or why something is possible, instead of how or why something isn’t.

I think that’s how children learn best, too.  They ask WHY does the letter “c” make two different sounds and why is it that vowels make so many different sounds — instead of why they can’t do that at all.


A great appetizer to what I am about to discuss is this nifty little article asking the reader who they think is more obnoxious — foodies or hipsters, and then proceeds to tell you what he thinks.

Foodies are coined as fouchebags, and hipsters as douchesters.

Most of his complaint lies in the pretensions 90% of them appear to have become afflicted with over the years as well as their tendency to front like they know more than anyone about a particular subject when, in fact, they’re pulling their opinions out of their arses or poaching an opinion from an established fouchebag/douchester-approved publication that is just edgy enough to have some kind of illusory cred.  It’s a really fun article.  READ IT!

While it does tend to create cartoons and caricatures out of foodies and hipsters, when you get past the hyperboles, there is a lot of spot-on truth in his analysis.

…which brings me to:

FOODIES: THE MOVIE.  Or is the the webseries???

Yes!  Now I remember what I wanted to post on!!!

Hopefully WordPress allows me to embed the trailer, and if it doesn’t work, please see it at

I had a friend tell me that it’ll either be really, really good or really, really obnoxious.
I see it as kind of the Portlandia equivalent of this whole realm.

Can I ask a question though? I just can’t let it go until I ask one of these questions.


Come ON people. Back when there were only 7 or 8 food blogs, 6 or 7 of them WERE WRITTEN BY ASIANS. And not just any Asians. Suburban, college-educated, Yellow (as opposed to Brown) Asians. Non-yellows jumped on that bandwagon YEARS after food blogs became the thing! East Asians (predominantly Korean and Chinese) tried to keep their edge — first on the East coast, then on the West — by investing in very nice, very expensive cameras and got Flickr accounts and eventually went into professional photography, but seriously! NO ASIANS???

To make a movie/web series about foodies and to not include Asians is like making a movie/web series on hip hop and having no Black people.

Granted, there are plenty of people who like hip hop who aren’t Black. And, to get technical about it, apparently Puerto Ricans in Brooklyn had a huge hand in the creation of hip hop and bboy culture when the roots were still pretty raw.



Foodies tend to go out much more than they stay in for dinner parties, though dinner parties are quite the thing with some pockets of the foodie demographic. Particularly those who are from the cooking-blog realm in lieu of the let’s-eat-something-I’ve-never-eaten-before blogging world.

I love how foodies have become the new emo of suburbia! I love what they do!

All pretensions and obnoxiousness aside, their work really encourages people to break patterns with their eating and to experience new things and to withhold judgment (unless you’re of the snooty sort) until after you’ve dined.

Also… when it comes to foodies who have been foodies since 2003, I don’t find them annoying. If anything, they seem more sheepish and embarrassed by the celebritized state of foodie culture than the more recent converts are. (And by recent I mean people who have joined the flock since around the tail end of 2008.)

I hope I’m wrong about the trailer for the Foodies webseries/movie. I’m just concerned because it has such potential to become a really great parody, but there is a very real threat of it ending up coming off just as obnoxious as its subjects because the writers appear to not empathize with foodies.

For me, the truest, funniest, most honest parodies come from the subjects themselves. The whole it-takes-one-to-know-one kinda schtick.

I WAS some kinda foodie at some point back in 2004-2008, but then just kinda found it a bit overwhelming. I never did play well with the keeping-up-with-the-joneses game. No matter what the scene.

But because I’ve lived it, I also learned to appreciate a lot of the qualities that the culture holds/held — and understand why some foodies do what they do.

Nowadays, some foodies crowd around an light box or invest in a great camera so that they can show off taking a great pictures, and hopefully having their photo published somewhere like Tastespotting.

But back in the day, mostly some foodies dared to invest in a camera to do their food some justice. With just an old-school point-and-shoot, it’s hard to get the right color and texture so that readers can SEE just HOW DELICIOUS the experience really was. To pick out the little niblets of crunchy, fried garlic in a bowl of ramen they had to drive 2 hours for to re-experience and share with a stranger, tip them off to some forgotten gem that’s really, truly good. Feeling self conscious when you pull out your big honking camera when you’re not at an Asian establishment (most mom-and-pop Asian restaurants don’t give a frak about cameras), and feeling some kind of community when you see someone else do the same.

It wasn’t about tearing down or building up restaurants, seeing if you can spot or spark a trend, or about one-upping one another and trading your work for schwag and free meals.

This kind of food culture may not win you a lot of hits on your blog or free meals at the hottest new restaurant in town, but it’s honest and it’s real and I hold a great affection for it.

Like fashion blogs, the internet is over-glutted with bloggers who are using foodie culture to garner some kind of attention, celebrity and perhaps the occasional ticket to the “good life.” An invite to a scenester party, an seat at the table of an exclusive $300 meal. They’re cashing out early, if at all.

But maybe this is part of one great big circle of life when it comes to culture and subculture.

In some ways, it really challenges you when all the obnoxious and pretentious people arrive onto the scene. Are you gonna leave the party cuz of them, or are you gonna hold your first love close to your heart and stay true, even as younger, hipper and more sharply dressed people enter the fold?

Or maybe first loves aren’t to be celebritized. Maybe they aren’t supposed to become a product. Maybe it is a good idea to sneak out the back and make a run for it, find a town where nobody knows you and there’s nothing to prove and make a new life for yourselves in private.

Think Bottleshock in lieu of Portlandia. You’ll get the idea.

GAH!!! Must update Twitter feed and start packing.

Love and tacos,

P.S. If Foodies the webseries/movie really, REALLY wants to take a serious stab at foodie culture, they gotta, GOTTA invest in a better camera/photographer for the recipe section of their blog and take much more interesting photos. Tip to the bloggers/producers: check out Tastespotting, so that your taste in foodie photos will be spot-on! I know it’s too late to get Asians and shooting at public restaurants ups production costs, but it’s not too late for your website/blog!!! I WANT TO HELP YOU!! “Fruit Tart with Durian and Raspberry Cream” is FUNNY! Now you just need the pictures to anchor that delicious — and possibly fruitful — joke. PUN INTENDED.

P.P.S. In the case that this is a developing web series and NOT a movie and it’s not too late in regards to the plot — please, please, PLEASE let Evil Ex Boyfriend be INTERESTING and not 2-dimensional! I’ve written the same plea regarding Evil Ex Girlfriends to the producers of my past favorite K-dramas, to no avail. More interesting than villains you love to hate are villains you can’t help but love.



  1. just the right amount of sleep-y-head says:

    Dear Goldilocks:

    Just looking at the video, I swear even without playing it I got so depressed. Thanks for that Alice.

    This kinda makes me want to go Charlie Sheen on somebody’s ass. Oh well.
    Good luck with your studies and keep on floggin!

  2. tien. says:

    What did Cigarette Smoking Man say to Mulder once or twice? “A lie is most convincingly hidden between two truths” – something like that. That sums up Scientology … smashed between helpful how-to’s on self-analysis and effective communication skills are Xenu and Katie Holmes’ sad robot eyes.

    “Now you just need the pictures to anchor that delicious — and possibly fruitful — joke. PUN INTENDED.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

  3. papi says:

    you know what the sushi chef told me?
    “my uni weighs a ton”
    PE forever!

  4. grace says:


  5. youngho says:

    lol papi! i wish my uni weighs a ton! sh*t, i’ll take even half a ton 😉

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