Funny and Sad: Edition #1: Vending Machines

Normally I don’t judge vending machines or their foods.  They are what they are and are good for a sudden Snickers, Knott’s Berry Farm raspberry shortbread cookies or package of Famous Amos — as long as nothing costs over a $1 or so.

I guess what got me here, ALBANY AIRPORT, is that you have a bajillion vending machines — most of which seem to carry this “Vitalities” sticker, promising healthier snack choices.  (Whatever that means!)

Ahahahaha, you guys.  Ahahahahaha.

How does this look any different from any other standard vending machine?  The vending machine at my local Y has healthier snack choices (Pop Chips, dried fruit leather, trail mix, Lara Bars, etc.), and it doesn’t even ADVERTISE having healthier choices!

Perhaps it's the salted almonds hidden amongst the Pop Tarts,Reese's Pieces, Chocolate Bells and Starburst.

Lesson of the day, folks: just cuz there’s a green sticker advertising something as a healthy choice doesn’t mean that a stick of Butterfinger is suddenly a part of a complete breakfast.  🙂

Love and tacos,


3 Responses to Funny and Sad: Edition #1: Vending Machines

  1. Geo says:

    Uh, I think you might’ve pulled a ‘selective zoom’ there. On the full shot, you can see a couple clif bars. I dunno about pirates booty, but I remember some stuck up kids in high school saying it was healthy.

    But yea, looks like 31/35 of those snacks are not for people on a diet. Sucks to be a yuppie in Albany.

  2. Aliiiiiiiiiice says:

    YES! Point heard.

    And yes, 31/35 are probably not healthier choices when it comes to vending machine food. And Pirates Booty and Clif Bars are iffy choices. HEALTHIER choices, yes. But not exactly healthy. It’s still kinda junky on the system.

    My point: come on, now. Come ON, now, peoples!! If the whole stickering of the vending machine was to promote the fact that it carried healthier choices, there would be no Butterfingers, 3 Musketeers, Snickers Bars, Doritos, Fritos, POP TARTS, Snickers, Cheetos or even Kettle Chips (yes, they’re still fried and they’re still chips, even if they promote themselves as gourmet).

    That’s like a hot dog stand promoting itself to be organic and green because they happen to carry organic ketchup — whereas the 15 remaining ingredients are processed and made in China.

    Tsk, tsk. The stickering is misLEADING, Albany Airport Peoples!!! 🙂

  3. SSSleeppyhead says:

    Holy Crap!

    You’ve hit on a great idea Alice: Hot Dog Vending
    machines – sort of like (blank) on a stick but out
    tumbles corn dog, mustard packet and a gross
    of napkins!

    Just don’t kick the machine if a dog gets clogged in
    the arter…er, vending slot.
    Happy Xmas Alice!

    p.s. I spent a month in Albany one night….

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