As mentioned in a previous blog post, I’m in the midst of getting over an UBER STUPID, EMBARRASSING crush, so I have all this pent-up ennui and puppy love I would so very much love to get out of my system. For the past few weeks, I’ve been channeling it into a series of fictional and creative-non-fictional love letters. They come in several different flavors.
Here are a few that are up for perusal:
* Unrequited Love
* I’m Sorry I Cheated
* Coworker Crush
* Too Bad I’m Your Boss
* Facebook Crush
* Confession: From One Woman To Another
* I’m No Good For You
* Missed Connection
A good lot of them are actually inspired by my friends’ love lives with one actually handwritten by my bee-eff-eff. I’ve probably written at least 15 different varieties, but decided to cut out the most emo and ridonkulous ones like, “I’m Depressed You Left Me For My Mortal Enemy” and “Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Sifting Through Your Garbage.”
Some of them are pretty nutty, like “Facebook Crush” — which is actually based off a random good-looking profile I found when adding friends to our EatChego account. I hope he doesn’t mind. I kind of used his real name. –__–;;
SO HOW CAN YOU GET YOUR FREE LOVE LETTER WITH PURCHASE?
Easy peasy lemon squeezy. All you have to do is order more than one dessert when you come in to Chego. I figured that love letters go best at the end of a meal and would appeal the most to the people in possession of a sweet tooth.
Oh! Speaking of desserts, BETH KELLERHALS is adding a new dessert to the menu starting next week: KEY LIME PIE. Like her coconut cream pie, she somehow makes it taste the way it ought to: magically delicious.
The crust was fused together with crispy butter crumbs and filled with the most lusciously light and serene key lime pie filling you’ve ever had.
I don’t know about you, but the key lime pie I’ve grown to accept and love is the kind that’s 5 pounds per slice, made of a solid cheese-like block of uber sweet condensed milk and super tart limes. And a dollop of whipped cream on top.
BUT BETH’S PIE IS DIFFERENT.
I’ve yet to ask her what she put into it, but it’s not like your run-of-the-mill condensed-milk-based pie. You know lemon meringue pie? How it’s silky, light and luscious? It’s like that, only with limes. And the topping isn’t whipped cream, but a heavenly generous schmear of marshmallow cream.
This is how I want all my key lime pies to taste from here on out. And that’s the honest truth.
But YES! LOVE LETTERS! FOR FREE! WITH DESSERTS PURCHASE! Limit one per patron, though, but yes, you can specify which one you’d like with your busser.
Also, feel free to suggest a love letter you’d love for me to write. You can either post them in the comments box or send a love letter you’ve been burning to write to: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Love and ricebowls,