…because we can aLL use a littLe eLegance.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

This is coLLege food on crack.    I remember making a griLLed cheese sandwich once from 2 leftover pizza sLices, Spam and leftover Prego spaghetti sauce.  For that extra kick of lycopene.

A lot of my coLLege diet was Chocopie, Ichiban ramen and Easy Mac-based.  And a lot of odd experimentation with PauLa-Dean-inspired treats.  You know she’s got this ooey gooey butter cake made with sour cream, cream cheese, butter, condensed milk and powdered sugar???!!!  Yep, I think the fLour was there just to bind the sugars and fats together.

Looking back to a time when microwaves trumped having to wash a frying pan makes aLL of my internaL organs writhe in pain.  My poor kidneys, pancreas, liver and intestines reaLLy took it like a soLdier.  I remember running on Red BuLL and this mix of Taster’s Choice instant coffee and 3 tea bags, sweetened and creamed up with sugar and meLted mint chip ice cream. Or making a meaL out of Manwich, a bag of Doritos and some canned cheese.

I think like a drug addict, I took it a littLe too far and maxed out the fuLL capacity of my innards about 4 years ago.  Now I eat a singLe Oreo and I feeL lethargic, bLoaty and unnatractive for the next 3 hours.

I’m a littLe oLder, a littLe wiser, but it seems like the oLd junkfood of the past ain’t what it used to be.  Doritos now come fLavor bLasted (a singLe chip wiLL provide your entire sodium intake for the day) and it’s hard to find something that doesn’t incLude both MSG and HFCS in the snack aisLe.

Once in a whiLe I’ll get a littLe nostaLgic, but a quick look at the ingredients list fLashes a big “BIO HAZARD: ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK” sign for me.  Before it took an entire snack-sized bag of Cheetos for me to lick a fine layer of orange cheese powder from my finger tips.  Now it onLy takes an entire Cheeto.

Of course, don’t think your new Soy Crisps and Boca Burgers let you off the hook either.  A lot of the soy-based and fake meat products do a whoLe ‘nother worLd of wrong to your innards, but that’s for another bLog post.  TiL then…

Love and tacos,
Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice